I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
