I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
