this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How's work?
Spinning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So here I am, sexting at work.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
