I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
