His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
