just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
