Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize