I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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