He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
