I accidentally had phone sex last night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
