I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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