she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
