so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
