Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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