great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
