1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
God, I missed his penis.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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