If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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