I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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