put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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