There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Randomize
