So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
