Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i now understand why vodka
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize