everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
