I didn't shave. On purpose
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
