Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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