That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
