I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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