So drunk its hurt
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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