Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
