there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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