i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize