don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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