I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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