this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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