Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
