There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
