lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
