nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize