think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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