I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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