dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
