Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
When are your genitals available?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize