So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
