How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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