I smell stomach acid.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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