You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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