he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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