I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
