i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
