Dual....:-)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize