Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
