I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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