So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
