do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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