Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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