So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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