I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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