You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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