do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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