didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize