i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
