do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
