Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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